Lent

Today, Ash Wednesday, starts the 40 days of Lent. A time when Catholics prepare for the resurrection of Christ through prayer and fasting. I'm fasting today & going to Church. This year in an effort to test myself I've given up all unnecessary spending. This means no Starbuck's on Tuesdays before class, no shoes or purses just because I can. No lunches at work, no movies out, no sushi on grocery shopping weeks, nothing that will require me to spend money I don't need to. My reason for doing this is two fold. First the purpose of giving up something for Lent is to sacrafice something that you take for granted in life. My hemoragging of money, especially lately, is something I'd like to be more aware of. Which brings me to my second reason, I want to get out of debt! And I'm not always aware of the way I'm spending money, especially since I got my annual raise. So for the next 40 days, except for my visit to South Carolina to see my good friend Sarah, I'm going to live a low key, low maintenance life. We shall see how well I do. I have the utmost faith in myself. Come Easter I'll have something to be proud of myself for, among the many other things I'm proud of, and I'll beable to see the fruits of my sacrafice b/c my plan is when ever I want/need to buy something I'm going to round that amount to the nearst dollar and put it in savings. We shall see....

Dysfunction

I'm not oblivious of the fact that every family has dysfunction, but often time I look at my family and wonder how one family could be such a mess. And how out of that mess did I wind up the least bit messed up. Divorce is a part of our culture, people decide that the vows they took weren't that serious and just end thier marriage, it's not my job to judge their reasons. My parents divorced when I was 16, it broke my spirit more than anyone knows, but I trudged on. It was at that point that I realized I was a survivor and began to believe that, "What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger." My sisters however didn't fair quite as well. Though they'd never admit it the divorce affected them in ways I don't even think they're aware of. There's is not my story to tell but I will say that slowly but surely, and not with out hurt to themselves, our family or others, they're getting themselves together and I couldn't be prouder. My little brother was also a casuality of the divorce, but not b/c of my parents (we don't even share a father) but because he came into a family that couldn't handle the responsibility off adding another spirit to nourish. Just recently this has become all to apparent. My brother has been stealing from all of us! It angers me b/c I gave him and out but it hurts me more b/c obviously he's screaming for attention. My mom, God love her, is tired wants to be a grandma not so much a mom. She let's him get away with murder and now those choices are coming to haunt her. My brother, regardless of what he does, is a good kid...he just makes very, very bad choices. I'm hoping with guidance and therapy and a little God in his life (I firmly believe Church would help him) that he'll find his way. He's only 11 and I refuse to give up on him b/c...What does not kill us, only makes us Stronger.

Pokey, Preggers and V-day

Well life's been a little hectic lately. Friday I was almost arrested for a hit and run...yup you read that right. Apparently some lady says I hit her and didn't stop. I'm sorry WHAT?! I'm the girl who goes back inside if she accidently forgets to pay for something, I seriously doubt I'd risk spending time in the pokey (I can make jokes and laugh about it now, but I wasn't laughing about it on Friday) for a hit and run. As of today nothing has been done, but the adjuster did come and look at the truck and got a good laugh out of my story. Glad I could amuse him.

Up until today I'd been home sick with the crud. I went to the dr's yesterday and she said she didn't see any infection but asked if I might be pregnant...anything's possible I guess, but since AF showded up about three hours later I doubt it. Now I'm back to work, for one day b/c friday's my day off and Monday's a holiday!

Hubz and I have decided for Valentine's Day we're going to stay and I'm gonna make dinner and then we're going to go see a movie. Very low key and honestly I don't mind. The last thing I wanted to do was go to a resturant and wait for hours to eat. This way I can have what I want, not that I'm sure what that is, and it'll cost me a quarter of the price.

Happy Day

Yesterday when I got home I checked the mail as I always do, hubz is physically incapable of doing this apparently, and was very surprised to find...a check for $2857. For what you ask? My financial aid covered more than necessary for this quarter so I got a big fat check! We're paying off a credit card! Which leaves two. The next will get paid off when we get our tax refund, thanks to buying our house we're getting a $7500 credit! Then we'll be down to one credit card, the truck, the mortgage and our timeshare. All I have to say is, Oh happy day. This means my goal to have two cards paid off before a baby is going to happen, I do love it when a plan comes together. Now this baby making thing doesn't stress me out so much. And if we're gonna get a check like that everytime I take classes....well let's just say we'll have that other credit card paid off in no time.

Nothing Really

I have nothing exciting to say really....such is the story of my life. Next weekend is Valentine's Day and looks like there'll be a whole lot of nothing going since hubz had to take the day off today b/c the step-son is "sick". This means we'll be missing a day of pay so I get to make up the difference in the mortgage, again, with my paycheck. So glad I got that raise. We're going to try and refi in a few months. After we get our tax check we want to get one credit card payoff and another paid down some, to hopefully help with bringing down our intrest rate...fingers crossed. Schools going a little better than expected, I think I have a 'B' in Econ! and I'm less than one point from a 'B' in Marketing. I'm hoping my paper this week will help me bring that grade up to a 'B'.

25 Random Things (as posted on Facebook)

1. My biggest fear is failing at my marriage.

2. Until my little brother was born I didn't want any kids. Now I want 4!

3. My parent's divorce broke my spirit and my nana's death took my faith. It took going to school in Florida to get them both back.

4. I 100% believe that Curtis is the love of my life. We're so different but he balances me. Not to mention he made one of my bestest friends my sister.

5. I'm quite the shoe and purse whore. So much so that as soon as we're out of debt I'm going shopping and I'm willing to spend $400 on a diaper bag just to have a Coach bag!

6. I have the unfortunat character flaw of being brutally honest. My honesty has caused me to lose friends so I'm slowly learning that sometimes honesty may not be the best policy.

7. My sisters make me more and more proud of them everyday. They're proof that a stong will and determination can get you anywhere in life.

8. I miss my friends from high school and college. Growing up isn't all it's cracked up to be.

9. I have no regrets about the things I've done in my life. They've made me the person I am.

10. I miss college and wish that I got to see my Tampa girls more, not just for our weddings.

11. If I didn't have to work I'd be a wedding/party planner. I'm convinced that it's my calling.

12. While I don't have a problem with authority I do have a problem with people telling me I can't do something. Tell me I can't and I'll prove I can, just as the lady at the bridal boutique I went to this weekend.

13. I LOVE STARBUCKS. I realize that $4 for a coffee is absurd, but I just can't help it.

14. Even after we have kids Curtis and I will still vacation just the two of us. It's good for our relationship and my sanity, sometimes you just need a break.

15. It's so true that your friends are the family you pick and sometimes if you're lucky your friends really do become your family.

16. My best friend Mandy is moving sometime this year and not having her as an integral part of my life scares the bejesus out of me. I've always been the one to go away so I don't know how to adjust to her being the one going away.

17. Though I want kids I'm scared that I won't be a good mom.

18. It takes a special person to be step-parent and most days I don't think I'm that person but I continue to get up every morning and do the best I can.

19. I'm proud to say I voted for Barack Obama and that part of the reason I did it was because he's black (really bi-racial just like me!). I love that one day I really can tell my kids they can be anything they want, including Pesident of the USA, regardless of the color of thier skin.

20. Sometimes I wish I wasn't so independent. I realize it comes off as snobish but the truth of the matter is you can't really trust people until they give you a reason to.

21. I'm Catholic and pro-choice. And while I know these are two things at odds with each other I believe that God gave us free choice so that we can make the choice that's best for us and that in the end only He can decide if that choice makes you a bad person.

22. I want to die having sex!

23. Buying our house is my greatest accomplishment so far in life.

24. If someone had told me I'd be married by 26 I'd have laughed in thier face. But as they say the best laid plans....

25. Though I hate to admit it I'm a type A personality, except on vacation, I need to have a plan even if that plan doesn't work out the way I like.