MIA...

Seriously!  2 months since I last touched this page and while I know it's because life is crazy, although it's slowed down some, it still makes me sad.  This is my place to decompress a little. So I'm vowing to get back to it.  NaBloPoMo (National Blog Post Month) started on the 1st, I'm behind which is really the story of my life anymore, so I'm going to start today.  Last year I did pretty well getting one post a day and this is a big month for the Swiftly Growing house, Baby Girl turns 1 next week!  That means I have a least a weeks worth or posts and not to mention I still need to get her 10/11 months posts up...sigh, I really am overwhelmed by life!  I'm vowing to take the next two months 1 day at a time, otherwise I may completly have a melt down, and just in case the wine rack is stocked!

So I'm back, hopefully full time at least for this month. And I'm hoping at least 2-3 times a week after that but hey I'm a Momma and Wife and a million other things and sometimes life just gets crazy.

Happy Thursday, ya'll! Oh here's a little cuteness!

3 Years Old - The Bean

3 years ago a tiny little bundle made his appearance after 18 hours of labor and an unplanned C-section.  My first thought upon seeing you was that I was glad you were here but sad your head was pointy, what can I say I'm a little vain.  But once I got out of the operating room and into recovery, where you and your daddy had already spent an hour bonding, I felt my heart overflow with a love I'd never felt.  It was true that becoming a Momma, your Momma, changed me in ways that I can never explain.  Of course after 3 days at home you spent the next 10 in the PICU, where for about 5 days you literally fought for your life.  Eventually you came home and being your Momma has been one of my biggest joys.

Your first year seemed to speed by and before I knew we were celebrating your second birthday.  Between then and now you've become a big brother and such a big boy. Everyday is a new day and I never know what that day is going to be like.  And oh what a big brother you are.  I know that forever and always your little sister will always have you in her corner.  There are people that will say that only children are just as happy as siblings but they'll never make me believe it.  Siblings teach us how to love someone other than our self, unconditionally.  And unconditionally is exactly how you love your sister.  Of course I know in about 10 years you two will "hate" each other but that's all part of the circle of life because 10 years after that you'll have a whole new relationship, as adult siblings, and that's something even I can't explain.

Now here we are celebrating your third year and I can't help but tear up a little, I cry a lot more since you made me a Momma.  My tears are happy tears though.  I'm happy to know that you're a well adjusted, happy loving little boy. I know that the next year will probably be full of ups and downs but that's just life. I can already tell it maybe our most challenging yet but that's only because you're starting to assert your independence, which is too be expected, and considering who your parents are I expect it to be a little bumpy from here on out but at the end of the year when I'm writing about this third year we're embarking on I know the only thing I'll remember are the good things.

My dear sweet boy I hope this next year brings you such growth and memories.  But mostly I hope that you know and always remember that no matter how big you get you'll always be my sweet little Bean.  My first born.

I love you forever and always.

9 Months - Baby Girl

9 months old means you've been out longer than you were in. That fact is still hard for me to wrap my head around.  I mean 9 months ago we welcomed you into the world and after 10 long days in the NICU we welcomed you home.  Home ...Where you have continued to make us smile and keep us on our toes, even more than your brother did or does.

You're pulling up on everything and anything these days and just recently you've started letting go and trying to balance.  I imagine you'll be walking before your first birthday, that should be fun.  You also have really found your voice and not just for crying, you found it for that not long after you entered the world.  You're always babbling and cooing and laughing.  You LOVE to laugh, sometimes at nothing at all.  I hope you keep that quality about you.  The ability to laugh at life will make your disappointments easier to handle and your successes that much sweeter.

As I look forward to the next 3 months before you turn 1 I can't help but wonder about the little girl that you're sure to become.  Will you be as laid back as your brother was at 1?  I somehow doubt it but that's okay.  How will your relationship with your brothers develop.  I worried that the Bean wouldn't adjust to you being here and in his space but oh how he adores you and your older brother feels the same. 

9 months doesn't seem long enough for me to love you the way I do but really I've loved you since you we're conceived.  The baby girl I prayed and wished for.  I love you forever and always sweet girl.

August

How in the world is it August already?! I feel like we were just celebrating Memorial Day down in Corolla and now it's almost back-to-school time. This year is a big year in the Swiftly Growing house, the teenager starts high school! The Hubz is more I denial than I am but it's still hard for me to wrap my brain around the almost 14 year old we have and the 3 year old he was when I first started dating his Dad.

The start of high school means so many things for him and us. Before we know it he'll be off to college which means we have 4 years left to get him ready to be a psuedo adult. For him the next four years will start to really mold him into he man he will become.  High school is a time of making memories and choices that will, in one way or another, impact your life more than anything before this ever has.  

I'm excited and nervous for him and us. He's our test subject for how we'll likely handle the others. Although as I'm learning every kid really is different so his experiences will likely be his and only his and the others will all be handle in their own ways, when this chapter comes for them.

Baby ... maybe ... NOT

Sigh ... my dear sweet girl is almost 9 months. Since she was born at 8 months she's been outside of me longer then she was in and while I want nothing more than for her to remain little and squishy for ever that's just not the way things work.  The world keeps spinning which means my babies keep growing and before I know it they're not babies anymore (tear).  Of course thinking about how fast their growing leads me to thinking about another, even though realistically we just can't afford another at this point but oh how I want one.  It's crazy really since little lady is the WORSE sleeper in the history of sleepers and did I mention I'm currently furloughed two days a week?  Yeah as the primary earner in our household that hurts a little and don't even get me started on the state of my marriage, we're in an unsettled place right now... all that to say it's just NOT a good time.  And yet I find myself daydreaming about another little babe growing inside of me and making his/her appearance, hopefully not to early like big sister.  I picture the toddler and baby girl loving a new little baby, a sibling, a new little someone to grow our family but it's just not the time.  I'll know when it's time, just like I did with the first two. 

The plan at this point is for it to be sometime next year, late summer/early fall, so we can plan for 2015 summer baby which puts me on maternity leave for summer (hello summer vacation!) and plenty of time to prepare myself for my sweet, sweet boy to start school but who knows!  Things just don't seem to be working out the way we want lately so ... as always it's in God's hands but oh how I hope he's on the same page as me.

8 Months - Baby Girl

Shut the front door!  Wasn't I just writing your 7 month post, OK I was but that's because I was a slacker, but how did we zoom past another month so fast?  Speaking of zooming ... you're crawling faster than I ever remember your brother crawling and two days after you started crawling you decided it was over rated and started pulling your self up on everything and anything that would hold you up.  I imagine you'll be walking before your first birthday or not to long after it.  Your brother doesn't know what he's in for once you're up and running!

You're so babbly lately too. You've just got things to tell us, I guess.  It looks like you're cutting a tooth but it's been looking like you were cutting a tooth for several weeks now so really I'm only guessing, that's what most of parenting is guessing, that it's a tooth.  You're such a great eater but have decided that you'd like to forgo bottles, which is giving your daycare a little frustration but we've decided that you'll eat what you eat and as long as your eating your food then we're happy.  Since you're still nursing like a champ we're not too worried about it.

You celebrated your first 4th of July with our annual parade and a party at your grandparents.  No fireworks for you though, you were out before the sun was completely down and you slept through everything going on outside of the window of the room you were sleeping in. While we're on the topic of your sleeping the last week has seen you only waking once in the middle of the nite and I'm so thankful, I hope I don't jinx it.  It's nice getting about 5 hours of continuous sleep.  I forgot how much I missed it.

The next few months you'll be getting tons of Momma time, since I'm being furloughed.  We're gonna hit up the Beach with Nana, enjoy some pool time and just enjoy some lazy summer fun.  I'm hoping to make the best of a bad situation and not lose my mind at the same time.

In 4 months you'll be 1.  I'm not even sure how that's possible.  The last 8 months have just flown by.  As I watch your personality and your relationship with your brother develop my heart is full.  Your whole life is a head of us and I can't wait to see what it brings.

Forever & Always,
Momma

7 Months (1 week, 2 days) - Baby Girl

Momma's been quite the slacker in getting this post done but I finally got my act together.
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Holy Moly!  Where did the last month go?!  Sometimes I feel like so much of these last seven months have passed without me really taking them all in, really being aware and in the moment.  Then I realize that I'm there for the important moments and remember the important things, those little things that make me smile and get me through a rough day of work or a rough nite of multiple feedings and soothings. 

You're really on the move these days.  I knew it was coming but it's still hard to believe.  Before I know it you'll be running after your brother trying to keep up with him.  Not only have you started crawling but you've taken to solids like you've always been eating them.  I can't feed you fast enough at dinner, too bad the extra food isn't helping with your sleep. 

In other big news you FINALLY got your ears pierced this month too!  Momma and Auntie Bissa did them, thanks to our jobs at Claire's we're professionals, and you did such a great job.  I can't wait for your ears to heal so I can buy you all kinds of cute little earrings.

With a little more than 4.5 months until your first birthday I guess it's time for Momma to really start thinking and planning.  I've already found someone to take your pictures but that's about it. Good thing I still have those 4.5 months, I think I might need them.

Baby girl I love you more than you can ever know.  I thank God for blessing me with that squishy little baby girl that I knew I wanted but never thought I'd get. You and your brother are the light of my life and I can't imagine what I'd be without you.

Forever and Always,
Momma