Saturday, September 7, 2013

3 Years Old - The Bean

3 years ago a tiny little bundle made his appearance after 18 hours of labor and an unplanned C-section.  My first thought upon seeing you was that I was glad you were here but sad your head was pointy, what can I say I'm a little vain.  But once I got out of the operating room and into recovery, where you and your daddy had already spent an hour bonding, I felt my heart overflow with a love I'd never felt.  It was true that becoming a Momma, your Momma, changed me in ways that I can never explain.  Of course after 3 days at home you spent the next 10 in the PICU, where for about 5 days you literally fought for your life.  Eventually you came home and being your Momma has been one of my biggest joys.

Your first year seemed to speed by and before I knew we were celebrating your second birthday.  Between then and now you've become a big brother and such a big boy. Everyday is a new day and I never know what that day is going to be like.  And oh what a big brother you are.  I know that forever and always your little sister will always have you in her corner.  There are people that will say that only children are just as happy as siblings but they'll never make me believe it.  Siblings teach us how to love someone other than our self, unconditionally.  And unconditionally is exactly how you love your sister.  Of course I know in about 10 years you two will "hate" each other but that's all part of the circle of life because 10 years after that you'll have a whole new relationship, as adult siblings, and that's something even I can't explain.

Now here we are celebrating your third year and I can't help but tear up a little, I cry a lot more since you made me a Momma.  My tears are happy tears though.  I'm happy to know that you're a well adjusted, happy loving little boy. I know that the next year will probably be full of ups and downs but that's just life. I can already tell it maybe our most challenging yet but that's only because you're starting to assert your independence, which is too be expected, and considering who your parents are I expect it to be a little bumpy from here on out but at the end of the year when I'm writing about this third year we're embarking on I know the only thing I'll remember are the good things.

My dear sweet boy I hope this next year brings you such growth and memories.  But mostly I hope that you know and always remember that no matter how big you get you'll always be my sweet little Bean.  My first born.

I love you forever and always.

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