Wednesday, August 31, 2011

1 Week

This time next week I'll have a 1 year old.  For 12 months I've watched in awe and amazement as this little person that grew inside me now grows everyday before my eyes.  I've said before that I tend to be hyper-emotional, even more now that I'm a Momma, but this week even more so and I imagine it will get worse as September 7th approaches.

Yesterday our photog sent the pictures from his 1st birthday/cake smash shoot and I'm glad I got them at the end of the day because I cried.  I cried because next Wednesday I'll no longer have a baby but at toddler.  I cried because my little boy is about to surpass yet another milestone.  Mostly though I cried because I remember just how close we were to not meeting this milestone after only 3 days of life.

I always believed in the power of prayer but after those first two weeks of the Bean's life I will proclaim to anyone that will listen that God is good and prayer is the MOST powerful tool we have in making miracles happen.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011


As I was putting my nap resistant almost one year old down this afternoon I had a little flash back of this time last year.  I would have never guessed that two weeks later I would be a Momma, although Hubz knew all along, and I would experience the most all encompassing love I have ever known.  I also didn't realize that merely three days later that same sweet little bundle would spend 10 days in the hospital and for the entire 10 days and for months after I would be holding my breath waiting.

My life has definitely not taken the path I thought it would.  After my parents separated when I was a teenager I swore to never get married or have children.  I mean why would I when there was no guarantee that marriage would/could last and then when/if it didn't the kids were the ones that suffered.  Then God proved He had a sense of humor and reminded me that He has a plan better than my own, and brought Hubz into my life. I won't say I was a goner right away, I fought my feelings for him with every fiber of my being, but to no avail since the Man Upstairs had a plan.  While Hubz and I both come from divorced parents, his more than mine, that's about where our similarities end.  We're different in so many ways and most days it makes being married to each other exhausting but hey nothing worth having is ever easy.  We both went into this marriage with the agreement and understanding that divorce is not an option and that throwing the 'D' word around is unacceptable.  We fight, we're both very stubborn and strong willed, and sometimes we even go to bed angry but we both know when it comes down to it that it's us against the world.

Also, not on my path, but apparently in the Big Man's plans, was kids. They cry, are needy and require way more of my personal time then I want to give or so I thought.  Then something happened about 2 years after we were married, actually probably sooner than that I was just finally ready after 2 years, I wanted ... no NEEDED a baby.  However, apparently I was quite as ready as I thought because it took us almost 12 months to get KTFU and when I finally did I was SOOOOOOOOOOOOO  sick but I wouldn't have changed it for anything because 8.5 months later I had this little man who even on his whiniest, neediest of days is still the light of my life.

Lately, when I find myself reflecting, normally it happens when I'm nursing Bean to sleep, I smile at the unexpected path my life has taken.  Because while it may not have been my plan it was always God's plan.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011


I'm sorry I'm pretty sure I live on the East coast so why is that this afternoon my house began rattling and shaking, making me think it was about to explode, and causing me to run outside after grabbing the Bean from his crib.  Oh because we had an Earthquake, a 5.9 Earthquake,  in Northern Virginia.  It was crazy! It was scary! It was NOT fun! And it resulted in the Bean going yet another day without a real nap ... someone shoot me now!  This week is a good reminder of why I'm not nor could I ever be a stay-at-home mom.  I love my little guy but it's too much  when I can get him to nap and all he does is whine.  Of course I'm not sure why I have these issues during the week but on the weekends I have no problem.  Regardless I'm still enjoying this week with him, but I will most definitely be ready to go back to work on Thursday.

Speaking of Thursday we're headed to the Beach for the weekend on Thursday!  Can't wait!  Hubz' oldest brother's wife's family has a beach house in Corolla, NC and we're headed down Thursday nite after and unplanned dinner with Hubz' Aunt from Massachusetts.  She was suppose to be here next weekend but apparently there was a change a plan and is normally the case with Hubz' family we didn't find out until after everything was already finalize.  Ces la vie.

So one more day working from home and then to the office on Thursday. 

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

On The Edge...

I'm on the edge, the edge of jumping back into the baby making game!  Quite honestly I've been ready since the Bean was 9 months but that was just crazy talk.  Hell it's crazy talk now since the kid still isn't sleeping through the nite, but I'm a glutton for punishment.  However, I'm not taking the leap, not yet anyway.  We said next Spring and by the grace of God I'll make it until then. I WILL make it until then, what with the Step-Son getting ready to head back to school and hubz deciding that one class on-line and class live isn't working out for him that means my life is about to become a little more hectic.  Now let's add to all the school madness that I'm about to have a toddling 1 year old and I think it may be just enough stress to remind me that we need this next season to really get our shite together, not to mention my house is a MESS, I swear it hasn't had a good cleaning since the Bean was born.  So the plan is in the next 6-months to start/finish some projects we've been putting off, get both vehicles paid off and consolidate our 3 joint accounts into 2 maybe 1.

While I'm waiting for the baby making to commence I'll be adding to our cloth diaper stash, getting the Bean started on cloth diapers and working on getting his Big Boy room ready for next summerish.  Speaking of Big Boys ... he's going to be 1 in 3 short weeks!  (TEAR) Birthday plans are coming along swimmingly.  Invites are going out tomorrow, although I was sad that the quality of the picture wasn't as good in print as I thought it was on the screen but nothing I can do now.  The girl that made them was super great to work with the picture quality had everything to do with me and I should have looked at it better when she sent me the file, but it's still super cute.  His little onsie should be here this weekend, in time for his pictures!

Speaking of pictures!  His one year pictures with Angela from A.V. Smith Photography are Sunday!  Can't wait.  We're doing them at a park near her house.  I'm making one of those Giant Cupcakes for him to smash and get into as well as a little tie for him to wear with his diaper.  Her work is great I can't wait to see what she does.

Okay well it's off to continue my teetering on the edge ...wish me luck!

Sunday, August 7, 2011

11 Months

My Little Bean
What is happening?!  Time is going by faster than I can keep up and all I want to do is wrap you in a bubble and make it stop!  But since that's not realistic, at least that's what daddy says, I continue to watch change and grow every day.

You're 11 months today!  While I know you're not aware of the way you've changed my life in the last 11 months I'm so very aware. I know that before I was your Momma and I was different, good or bad I could say, but now that past is but a blur. 

You've done tons of new things in the last month, most important being your saying Momma!!!!  I'm sure you don't realize what it means but it's a step in the right direction.  You now have 3 1/2 teeth, the second top one isn't quite through yet, and are getting back to sleeping through the nite.  You weigh about 20# and you're probably about 29in by now.  However, since we don't know your measurements for sure you're still riding around in the bucket seat, which daddy loves but Momma hates.  You eat anything I give you, although you're not a fan of steak or broccoli but neither is Momma so who could blame you.  You're all smiles when I pick you up from Ms. Diane's which melts my heart everyday and puts me in a great mood regardless of how bad work was that day.  You're finally getting past your sepeartion anxiety, which wasn't as bad as it could have been but still not fun regardless.  With the addition of Momma to your vocabulary you're up to 4 words (dadda, momma, uh-oh and hi <~you're first word).  You're not keen on walking and that's okay because I'm sure you'll be doing it before I know it.

Next month you'll have a day that's all about you and I'm sure I'll cry, they'll be happy tears though.  I can't believe how fast this year has gone.  But I'm forever thankful that God blessed me with you.  You're my reason for being Bean and that will always be.

Momma loves you!

Thursday, August 4, 2011

More Party Details

My Sweet Bean will be 11 months on Sunday so I'm in full party planning mode.  The invite design is finished and I'll order invites this weekend.  I just ordered his onsie for the big day:

It's from Maddie Bug Baby
Isn't it so cute.  The shop had tons of cute stuff but I've had my eye on this for months now and it matches his invites perfectly!  I'm ordering favors from Oriental Trading next week and the Momma's on task for an uber cute cake, she never disappoints so I'm not worried in the least.  We're all set up for pictures with our photographer Angela with A.V.Smith Photography, she did his 2 months pictures and pictures of both the boys this summer.  We love her!  All that'll really be left is some DIY stuff I want to tackle like the birthday banner and the photo timeline.

I'm so excited and sad at the same time because he's on his way to being a toddler and not my little baby.

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Making a Change

I'm making a change.  Not a full-time change but a change and I'm so excited about it.  A few weeks ago I read a blog entry of a Working Momma who was going to start cloth diapering part-time.  Then I got to thinking back before the Bean was born, and was just a little Burrito growing in my belly, I had thought about cloth diapering but I never did any research, 6 months of ALL day sickness got the better of me with that, so disposables it was.  However, months before I ever read this post I started thinking about again and reading that blog was my sign, I'm big on signs, that it was time to seriously start researching and seeing if it was going to be more work than it was worth.  According the Working Momma in the aforementioned post it's not, so now I'm getting set up to give it a try.  I bought my first two diapers on e-bay last nite for a whopping $5 total! I'm on the search for few more just to get us started and see how we, really me because Hubz isn't so much on board, like it.  We'll still have disposables around for when others are watching him and don't feel comfortable with the cloth and for overnight and long trips out, oh and daycare.  I'll use them exclusively on the weekends and as much as possible during the week but since he spends most of the day at daycare I'm not sure how that will go.

I was talking to one of my sister-in-law's that cloth diapers and she says it will also help with potty training, when the time comes, because he'll be more aware of being wet.  Yet another bonus!  I'll report back once we get started about how it's going.  If it becomes to much I'll stop because being a Working Momma I don't need anything that's going to be adding more stress to my life and we've been using disposables for almost a year with no issue so if it turns out that that's the way it's meant to be then so be it.