Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Wordless Wednesday

It's been a while, but I've got a million things swirling in my head and trouble putting it all into words.  So until I can or until it all settles I'll leave you with the thing that gets me away from my own thoughts.

That's one happy baby!
Happy Wednesday!

Monday, September 19, 2011

September ...

The month of September exhausts me, and it's looking like this year October will be just about the same, from the moment the month starts until it ends we're going, going, going!  There's a birthday just about every day, including both or our boys, and with birthdays come parties.  I've mentioned my love of birthdays so it's not like I mind but come 30 September I need a nice long weekend just to get over all the birthday fun from September. 

Normally that break would come during  our Anniversary weekend, Columbus Day weekend -- it's the only holiday I get where the kids are still in school, but this year we're doing family day at the Pumpkin Patch on Saturday which means nothing exciting going on for our anniversary.  We'll go to dinner on the actual day and we're doing a lunch cruise with my college alumni group on Sunday but it's not quite as exciting as our Anniversary's were before the Bean came along.  Last year we were just happy to have made it through the Bean's hospital stay.  I guess this year we're just happy to have survived the Bean's first year.

Of course October also brings my birthday and this year's a big one ... 3-0!  I was trying to plan my own party, since every year it's like everyone is surprised that I have a birthday, but have now been yelled at twice by my sister-in-law, who assures me that she's working on something -- guess time will tell.  Since my birthday's Halloween I don't get all the fun stuff that hubby gets, like dinner out, but I do take the day off from work to have some me time.  I already have plans to get a massage and I'm trying to decide if I want to get highlights in my hair.  I'm a little nervous since my hair is finally healthy after 15+ years of chemically relaxing it but I still have a little time to decide.

Friday, September 16, 2011


3-years after being told I was going to get a promotion if finally happened! And at a perfect time, what with both boys having birthdays this month and our Anniversary, 4-years, next month.  The extra money is definitely being put to good use as we pay off one car next month and the other by the beginning of next summer, ya know before we have to buy a bigger family car.

Speaking of bigger family car.  I keep waffling on when we should start trying for our newest little bundle.  We said February and really we can't afford it much before then, remember the two cars I just mentioned, but I'm ready!  Actually I've been ready since the Bean was 9 months.  It probably helps that he's finally sleeping through the nite. Of course it's only been a week and now that I've said that I'm sure I've jinxed it.

I still need to do a post about the Bean's birthday party but since I didn't get a lot of pictures I'm waiting on everyone to get theirs uploaded so I can steal them.  On the topic of pictures I'm having the hardest time deciding which ones I want to buy from his Cake Smash session there's SO many.  I'm giving myself a deadline to make a decision by the beginning of next month so we can get some hung up around the house, I still have to pick ones from the boys spring session too.  I'm such a slacker.

I'm so glad it's Friday.  We have a busy weekend, which is par for the course during September, but it's going to be spend with some of my favorite people so I'm not too upset.  We don't really have a break until November, crazy I know.


Sunday, September 11, 2011

Let's Remember

I'm working about a post all about the Bean's first birthday party but first I think I should take a minute to remember how 10-years ago the world changed forever.

I was in the second year of college and on my way to accouting when someone mentioned in the elevator that someone had just flown into the Twin Towers and the Pentagon.  At hearing that the Penatgon was hit I kind of went numb, I mean my Aunt worked there, I walked to my class dropped off my homework, explained what was going on and went back to my room where my roommates and friends from the same area were huddled around the tv. We'd stay in glued to the tv for the next 12 hours. One group, one family, united as we watched in horror as our homes and our lives changed forever.

Schools in Florida tend to be made up of a lot of northerners and The University of Tampa was no different.  So while no one in my immediate group was personally touched by this horrible act there were members of campus that were touched and I grieve for them now like I did then.  I grieve for the soliders and their families that have lost their lives fighting for our freedom.  My faith tells me that it's not my place to judge those that were responsible but most days I find that difficult.  How do I not judge people that could do such things!  And so I pray that they recieved the judgement they deserved.

After that fateful day we as Americans came together as one.  We were united and yet 10 years later I wonder where that unity has gone.  We're more divided than kI can remember being in my time of understanding.  Why does it take a tragedy to unite people?  The beauty of America, and why some many want to be here, is because of our freedom to be who and what we are without fear.  We take care of our own, or it's what we tout, and yet our politicians, the people we elect into office, can't seem to take care of us.  I ask why are we no longer united.

On this the 10-year Anniversary of a tragedy that I will never forget I pray that we as Americans can get back to that unity that we felt and showed. 

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Then and Now

Because today is a day of celebrating and remembering:

About 2 weeks old, at home with daddy.

His one year pictures.
Courstey of A.V. Smith Photography

12 Months - 1 Year

How is that you're already 1 year old today?  I feel like I just bought you home and here we are today celebrating your birth.  We had a bumpy start there in the beginning but here we are a little older and a little wiser but no worse for wear.  The last year has been one of the best of my life, even with all the sleepless nites, and I wouldn't trade it for anything.

This last month you've grown so much.  Just last week you took your first 3-steps unassisted, I'm sure you'll be walking any day now.  You don't eat baby food anymore, and really haven't for a while.  We're still having some issues getting you to adjust to drinking milk but like everything else it will come with time.  You're vocabulary is growing with leaps and bounds and imagine when you finally start talking you'll be like your brother in that we'll never be able to get you stop.  We're still working on trying to get you to sleep through the nite but it'll happen soon enough.

You, my sweet boy, have forever changed my life.  Not only by making me your Momma but by showing me what unconditional love is.  Over the years I'm sure you'll do things that disappointment me, make me angry or sad but one thing will forever remain and that is my unconditional love for you.  It's true what they (whoever "they"are) say ... becoming a Mother changes your life.  It is most definitely a change I'll gladly take.

I love you sweet boy!  Happy First Birthday!


One Year Ago Today....

It’s about 930 pm on September 12, 2010 and I’m sitting in the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit, for the third day, with Little Curt (A.K.A: The Bean / Trip). He’s 5 days old today and this is not at all how I imagined we’d be spending the day. We’re supposed to be at home enjoying his first Redskins/ Cowboys game on the big screen in the basement. Instead he’s got tubes in his nose and wires and what not attached everywhere else and he’s in a metal baby crib while I sit on a pullout chair with a breast pump attached to my boob watching the game. The Hubz is at home with the step-son because he needs a good nite’s sleep before he goes back to work tomorrow. I could have had my mother-in-law stay with me, but for what so we can both get hardly any sleep? Besides there nothing she could do for me that I can’t do for myself. So how did we get here?

My water broke the morning of Labor Day, September 6, 2010, as I was trying to get my breakfast. I’d just woken up starving just like every morning since I’d been pregnant. Once I realized what was going on I called Hubz, who’d just left for work maybe 30 minutes prior, and he headed back home. Next I called my mom, because she was going to be taking care of the step-son while we were at the hospital. I had the step-son pack a bag along with his school stuff because oh by the way the first day of school was the next day. Finally I was ready to call the Kaiser Advice Nurse. She asked me a million questions and told me to back a bag, which I’d already started doing, because chances were I was going to go to the hospital but we had to wait to hear back from the doctor on call. While I waited for a return call I packed my bag and got things together. I should mention that during this entire time, about and hour and half by now, I still hadn’t really had any major contractions. Maybe two or three but they were very tolerable and about ten minutes apart. The nurse finally called back about 11am and told me to head to the hospital but since I knew that chances were good they’d want to start Pitocin as soon as I got there, since my water had broke, I waited another hour or so spending the time walking around hoping to get my contractions moving. At about noon I decided we could go ahead and head to Fairfax INOVA Hospital, now I wish I’d either spent more time walking and not gone so soon to the hospital or that I’d been more of an advocate for myself and asked to hold off on the Pit so that I could try to get my labor started naturally without the drugs which is what I’d planned all along, not to have a natural birth but to let my labor be as natural as possible without the enhancement of drugs. I wound up getting the epidural after I’d dilated 3 cm, which was way longer, then I’d expected to make it before needing the drug, and then at hour 13 they started talking c-section because my labor wasn’t progressing. But Hubz was my rock and held them. At hour 15, midnight, the new doctor came in and started talking c-section again, I wasn’t happy that this doctor that I’d just met had barely taken the time to introduce himself and check me before he started talking about cutting me open and removing my baby. The Hubz and I talked with our nurse and decided we’d wait another hour and half, until 130a, and if I still hadn’t progressed we’d do the section, but things kind of took a turn for the not so good and at 100a the original doctor and the new doctor both came in and said that the baby wasn’t doing well and they really thought it was time to get him out, of course we didn’t know he was a he at this point. Well that’s all it took because the agreement had always been that if it became medically necessary we’d have the c-section no questions asked. They rolled me in at 115 and got me all set up, the Hubz came in at around 125 and about 10 minutes later the Bean was born at 135a, weighing 6 pounds 1 ounce, 20 inches long with a head full of almost black hair. In other words, he was PERFECT! The Hubz and the Bean were taken to recovery and waited for Momma while I got put back together and almost exactly one hour from start to finish I was with my two favorite guys. We were in recovery for about two hours and I was able to breast feed after the first hour. Trip latched on without any problems and all was golden for the rest of our stay at the hospital. I was doing so well that we were discharged after only 36 hours, instead of the standard 48, and I couldn’t have been happier because I was ready to get my little Bean home and get used to my new normal.

At home everything was going well until 3am on Thursday at which time Trip had been home for about 5 hours and he quit eating. We kept trying to put him to breast and he kept refusing or if he did take it, it wasn’t for anywhere near as long as hit had been. He slept most of the day Thursday and I also noticed that his color was a little off but just chalked it up to the little bit of jaundice all babies have. He was making weird grunting sounds that we thought were cute but would later find out were him having seizures. At the 2424 hour mark Hubz made the decision that we should go to the ER but I thought we should just call the Advice Nurse and see what they thought. The Advice Nurse put in a call to the Pediatrician on call who said that since he was still having wet and poopie diapers and since we had an appointment the next morning to continue to try and feed him and talk to our doctor that morning. So that’s what we did.

To be continued ... with the Bean's hospital stay and everything else that went along with it.

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

First Day of School

While today doesn't mean anything to me really, although this day last year I was in labor with the Bean, it's still signifies the end of the summer.  I don't hate summer, but I'm much more a fall girl.  My birthday is in fall, the weather's not to cold and not to hot and it leads up to the start of the holidays.  My step-son starts 7th grade today, hard to believe in one more year he'll be in high school.

Tomorrow's the day.  My little Bean turns One!  I'm so sad, but in a good way, to see this day come.  This last year has been amazing.  I never thought I wanted to be a Momma and then to realize it's the thing I love most about my life now.  Being that little boy's Momma is the single most gratifying thing in my life right now and while sometime I feel like I've lost the person I use to be I know that in time he won't need me as much and I'll get back to being that person, and maybe even better because of the person I want to be for him.  This week is very low key and super short at work. Which is good since I have a few last minute party details to take care of.

Happy Tuesday!