Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Moving on to Month #6

Well my body has failed once again! AF should be making her presence known some time today and just like every other month I feel like I've failed. Sure they say don't start to worry until you've been trying for at least a year, but how is that every other woman in my family can get KTFU just by thinking about it and I still have no babe to speak of after five months. So now we'll try for one more month and then take a two month break b/c of my sisters wedding being in May 2010. Then it's back to it. I'm not temping this month, not that I did this past month much anyway, and I'm going to try not to really think about it.

In less depressing news, I finished my 3rd qtr with a 4.0 and now my overall GPA is a 3.9! It's my silver lining.

Friday, June 26, 2009

Sad Day

Yesterday was a sad day. First Farah Fawcett, then Michael Jackson. Then I find out the date I've been dreading for the past year. My bestie's departure date for Cali. August 8th. Exactly a month and half before her little daughter turns 2. And almost two months before I celebrate my two year anniversary. One week after we shower her newest expected bundle and in all irony of irony's celebrate her going away. Going away parties are the worst invention ever! So now I wait. I wait for my world to change as I know it.

Don't get me wrong I normally embrace change because I realize that change is what make life go round. And eventually I'll embrace this change, but right now my heart hurts. It hurts for things that I'm going to miss her daughter learning in the two year's they'll be gone. It hurts for the little moments I'll miss with the newest baby. But mostly it hurts because the person that knows me better than even hubz will be across the country, three hours behind.

As with anything I have a hard time dealing with I ask God to guide me and repeat my "mantra:"

God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The strenghth to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Good Books

Sometimes when I'm in a really bad place I tend to sit and look back at all the things I haven't done in my life. Yup, that's right I throw myself a pity party for 1 b/c really I don't need anyone to revel in my failures. However, I just finished a book, Firefly Lane by Kristin Hannah, that reminded me to take stock in all the things I have done. I have a college degree, a husband that I adore and a step-son I'm proud of. My family, for all their drama, is my light at the end of a dark tunnel and my friends, the family I got to pick, keep me grounded and remind me of who I am. I may not be a size 3 or a big corporate lawyer, but I have job that pays my bills and a roof over my head. Sure I can be a negative Nancy but all in all my life's not half bad.

Something else that Firefly Lane made me think of is how much a girl needs a best friend. However, a true best friend doesn't have to be consant in your everyday life to be constant in your everyday heart. We're about 2-months out from my best friend moving across the country and it's this that has kind of help me come to terms with her leaving. She'll only be gone about 2-years and it's only about $230 to fly out there. So I'll settle on this and hold on to it. The next 8-weeks will go quicker that I could ever imagine but we'll make them count.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Heavy Heart

My heart is heavy today at the thought that though we as a country have come so far we still have so far to go. Yesterday an 88 year-old white supremacist opened fire at the Holocaust Museum in Washington, DC. My first reaction when I heard this was anger. Anger at the fact that this man thought he had the right to endager other peoples lives because of his hatred. Anger at the thought that this man had lived his life full of hatred for anyone that was not like him, but now this hatred has turned to sadness because this man lived his life full of hatred for anyone that was not like him. I firmly believe that the reason that the United States is such a fantastic place to live is because we are a mixture of cultures, beliefs and people. Yet we see events like the shooting at the Holocaust Museum or the recent cold blooded murder of a doctor, that performed abortions, who was shot while at Church! I can't fathom what made these men think they had the right! Now as I write this I'm angry again but it's a sad angry. Sad because though we've come so far as a country still have so far to go.

Monday, June 8, 2009

New Week...Same Crap

It's true it is a new week with the same crap however at the end of this week I'll be enjoying a much deserved, much needed break from VA. I'm headed to LA to see on of my closest friends for 5 whole days! I can't wait. However, before I can hop on a plane and be carefree I first have to write a 10 page paper for Law and do some math homework. When I get back I'll be in the last week before my math final and while I feel pretty good about the stuff following the mid-term it's the stuff from the mid-term I'm a little worried about. The final in is cummulative so I have to put to use a little of everything. However, I'm not going to let it stress me out too much while I'm on vacay.

When I get back it's hubz' birthday week. Friday, his acutal birthday, he's golfing in an annual golf tournament my work does. Saturday we're having a party. Sunday is Father's Day and he and the step-son have a father/son tee time for 1130. We bought the step-son clubs over Memorial Day and hubz is so excited to take him out and I'm so excited to have them gone for 5ish hours. Of course two of those hours I'll be at my final study group but the other four are all mine to catch up on GH, finish my final paper for Law and just relax with a glass of wine and the dogs.

It seems as if after a rough couple of days between hubz and I we're back on track! No matter what I love that man!

Monday, June 1, 2009

"Suprise Shower"

So the suprise shower I planned for my SIL wound up not being a suprise but good none the less. I was a little upset that half the people that said they were coming never showed up, but hey what can you do. Now it's time to plan her VA shower and the bachelorette shower. She's getting married in 3 months! I can't believe how quick it came up. It should be fun and I can't wait for her to be apart of the married lady club. Things are different, but the same on this end and it's a journey that with the right partner will become the ride of your life!

Baby Making Failure

Really, who knew that making a baby could turn an over achiever into such a failure? Here I sit at cycle 5 and still not KTFU! I thought last month was the month. I was 15 DPO and still no sign of AF...JK this morning my temp dropped to 96.8 and AF has arrived. I pretty sure this month is out since I'll be in LA for most of my fertile window. Then it's a three months TTA. Of course one of those months will be when I finally get KU. However, we're back at it in October and my fertile window is during our 2-year anniversary so that'd be kind of cool if I got KU then. Only time will tell. So today I start my day with:

God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The strength to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference.