Monday, October 26, 2009


I'm always telling my best friend that she's way stronger than she gives herself credit for. It's totally true though. When we were in high school her mom had lung cancer, got a transplant, got sick from an infection and was constantly sick for 4 years before she finally passed away. My bestie came through it and survived. I don't know that I would be the same person if I lost my mom because even on a good day she drives me nuts! We're still super close and losing her would be like losing a peice of myself. Then I remember that my bestie and her mom were just as close, if not closer.

Last nite as I was sat wallowing in the unfairness (<~ that's sooo a word) that has been my life in the past week I realized that I'm stronger than I often give MYSELF credit for. So I haven't lost my mother I did lose my Nana and my family, when my parents split, all with in about 2-years. And while I did a lot of things that I wasn't proud of during that time I still managed to graduate high school, get into college and not get knocked up like my much younger sisters, I used to judge them but that's just the path they chose for themselves. So what if things aren't going the way that I think they should be? As I 100% believe, "What doesn't kill us makes us stronger & God only gives us what we can handle", I refuse to let the last week bring me down. For every down hill turn there has to be an up and we're on our way I up I can feel it in my bones and I have to believe it.

So today my head's up and I have my eye on the prize.

Thursday, October 22, 2009


Let's just chalk this week up to one big week of disappointment and move on to next week. First hubz loses his job and today (I'm pretty sure) we move on to month seven. With hubz' unemployement I move back and forth between anxiety, frustration and stress. With my failure to get pregnant, yet again, I'm just stuck at sad. I don't even think about it during the month until that fourth week when I'm due for my monthly visitor and then every cramp and feeling of quizzy stomach gets over analyzed. I don't even know why since I always know the result...another failed attempt. So I guess I'll go back to temping for November. Once April gets here, if I'm not pregnant which at this rate I'm not holding my breath for, I'll go see my OB and we'll start talking about tests and what not. Until then I'll go through the month blissfully ignoring my body's inability to do this one very important job and spend the fourth week completely aware of everything my body's doing.

Life's full of ups and downs, I know, but this week has been all down. It has to go back up next week, right?

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Past 20 hours

The past 20 hours have been some of the most stressful of my life. Hubz got layed-off yesterday. I so frustrated and anxious! Frustrated because WTF we couldn't get a little heads up? JACKASSES! This was apparently out of left field. Not that I'm suprised really because that's just how the people he worked for operated. Anxious because his paycheck is what payed our mortgage. And while he has one more check left with this company it won't be a full paycheck which means we have to dip into our savings! At least there some money in there but not enough to get us through for long. Silver lining...he sent is resume to someone yesterday and has an interview with someone else today. Also, his resume is now ready for government job applying which is where I would prefer for him to work. I can't take him gettting fired every two to three years. I need him to have a stable job with some job security!

While I'm worried and will remain stressed, anxious and I'm sure somewhat frustrated, we've survived this before and we'll survive it again. We're fighters, hubz and I, and there's nothing that can keep us down for long. We always just get back up, dust ourselves off and trudge on because we have no other choice and because nobody's going to do it for us. My faith is what gets me thru, and apparently cigaretts is what gets him thru (though that's a blog of another day). We'll get to the other side and high five each other for the good job we did getting thru it. So fingers crossed it's sooner rather than later.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Last Free Days

This weekend is the last week before classes start again and this time hubz will be going to school too. Should be interesting to say the least. Our schedule is jam packed during the week, at least until the step-son is done with soccer the beginning of November. Then before we know it the holidays start and we're into a new year. So with these last few "free" days I'm gonna do some of the to do list that's been sitting on my dry erase board for the past two weeks. First, I'm going through a bag of halloween stuff my sister gave me then getting the nursery cleaned up from when we moved all our crap into there to paint the master. Saturday is hubz' 10-year high school reunion where happily I'll get to see some friends of my own I'm about as excited as he is, bet I won't be as excited for my own next year. Sunday's football...duh...and I'm thinking of making white chicken chili. It's a crockpot meal which means I can start and forget it, but we'll see. Monday is a holiday for me so I'm gonna do the lounging around I don't get to do on my Friday off b/c I'm too busy running errands...I can't Wait!

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

2-Years (and 1 day)

Hubz and I celebrated our 2-year anniversary yesterday. And while it hasn't always been easy it's definately been fun and there's nobody else I'd rather be sharing my life with. Hubz is my rock. He's the one that keeps me laughing through the rough times and is there right beside me to share in the good times. When I think back to all the things I've done so far in my life marrying him is definately one of the high points. Sure we fight, but what couple doesn't? Sure marriage is work, but what worth having isn't? I wouldn't change him or trade him for anything. Sure I wish he was more romantic and got upset about things more often, but if he did that who'd calm me down? We can't both be high strung.

So as we move onto 2-years and 1 day of marriage. I look forward to things we'll conquer and celebrate together. I hope that next year we're not only celebrating another year of marriage but the joy of becoming parents together, but that I know is all in God's time.

To the best husband a girl could have...I love you Cookies!

Monday, October 5, 2009

Saturday/Sunday Recap

Saturday hubz and I had our anniversary dinner. We did a dinner on the Oddessy, a dinner cruise around the Potomac. It was a blast. Good food, good music, beautiful scenery and hubz' undivided attention for 5 hours! We don't seem to get much us time anymore, and while that's a post in itself, I relish everyone minute when it is just the two of us. On the way to dinner I got a call from a friend who had an extra ticket to the Skins game Sunday and I jumped on the chance to go...I can't pass up a $40 ticket!

730 sure comes early on a Sunday morning but I was up and out of the door in about 15 minutes and by 830ish we were on our way to FedEx for some tailgating before the 1pm game. I've expressed my frustration with the boys in Burgundy & Gold and the first half of the game just helped to feed my frustration. I believe we have a good team but I'm convinced our coach can't get the job done. While I still maintain my opinion on Zorn the boys game back looking like the team I know they can be in the 2nd half. Though it wasn't pretty we won and in my book a win's a win! So now we go to 2-2 and next week we play another defeated team. Let's hope we can take the momentum from yesterday and carry it forward to next week.