Monday, August 3, 2009

Trudging on

Last Thursday I had one of those days where everything made me cry or pissed me off. Once again AF showed her ugly face and now we're on to month 7! I realized that I was only 9 days out from my best friend leaving for Cali and life in general just became too much. to the mall I went. I really did have a purpose, I needed to get my shoes for SIL's wedding next month and get a REDSKINS tank top for training camp the next day, but I also needed something to sooth my nerves so I also made to COACH purchases, added to extra pairs of shoes to the ones I needed and headed to Old Navy for 3 skirts, a tank top and a cute sweater for when it finally starts to cool down. All in all a productive evening.

I love hubz to death but he just doesn't understand my frustration in not being pregnant yet. Probably because, as he likes to remind me, he already has a kid so obviously the problem is me and not him. I have a problem with this being so difficult. I hate to fail at ANYTHING and right now I feel like I'm failing at one of the most important things I will ever do in my life. So now I do what I do best. I study and ask questions and figure out how and what to do to help the process along. I have an old friend from high school that had fertility issues, not that that's the probelm, but she's given me some words of encouragement as well as advice to hopefully help. At this point I'll take anything I can get. One thing I've learned from this whole thing is if/when I have a daughter I will not let her go on hormonal birth control because I would hate for her to have the same problems I'm having.

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