Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Stressed

Remember how a couple of posts ago I talked about my need to control things? Well I'm slowly losing control of my life, at least that's how it feels, and becoming more and more stressed. We're broke, can barely pay all of our bills, hubz hours were just got 20% and Christmas is coming! I've cried more to day then I have in a while. And while some of the crying was due to the excitement I feel for the man that we as a nation have elected as our 44th President most of it was due to the fact that I don't know how we're going to make it until Januaryish when I hopefully get a good bonus and a little bump in pay. Hubz plan is he'll take care of it and that's all well and good but it doesn't work for me if it means he thinks he doesn't have to support me around the house! For the LOVE OF GOD we bought a house with three levels, four bedrooms, 3.5 baths and .5 acres! I CAN'T DO IT ALL!!! Now he wants to go camping this Saturday (something we were suppose to do until we found out, no thanks to the step-son, about a MANDATORY family retreat for RCIC) after spending and entire day at a chruch Retreat. While I was game before we knew about the retreat now I'm not so much, plus WE CAN'T AFFORD it. Doesn't he understand that we have to save what money we have? This is the last check he'll get before the only thing his checks will be paying is the mortgage.

Oh and to add to the stress, I forgot to mention this yesterday, I found out this weekend my best friend (we've know each other since 4th grade) is probably moving to California in June! Great the one person I can talk to honestly about everything and not have to filter anything with! I'm going to miss her daughter growing up and now she won't be here when I finally have kids, whenever the hell that is. I know June's forever away but it'll be here before I we know it!

Deep breaths...that's really the only way to get through this!

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